One of the most common therapy goals we hear from couples is “we want to improve our communication” – or – “we want to deal with conflict better.” By the time many couples join us in the therapy room their bad communication habits are deeply ingrained. We address many different facets of communication during the couples therapy to help couples reach those goals and get them back to a good place. The longer a couple waits to start therapy when needed the harder it is to help them develop the good habits of communication. Here are some signs that your communication habits might be in need of tweaking:
- Most conversations are heated – are you almost always in conflict or fighting? Are the tender moments few and far between these days?
- You’re more focused on winning than playing like a team – are you competing to be right instead of doing what’s best for the relationship?
- You’re barely speaking – do you talk less to avoid starting a fight?
- You’re afraid to speak up – your partner’s reaction scares you so why even talk at all?
- You’re contemplating cheating or fantasizing about an affair – are you having thoughts of getting close to someone else because your spouse doesn’t understand you?
- You believe that everything would be OK if he or she would just change! – do you view your partner as the defective part of your relationship? Are you playing a game of “marital chicken” in which you’re waiting for each other to change first?
- You live separate lives – do you co-exist like roommates or acquaintances?
- You feel unappreciated – have you and your spouse stopped saying Thank You? Stopped showing love in the little ways?
If you recognize yourself in any of these, you may benefit from a communication overhaul. Contact us today so that one of our therapist’s can guide you through the tools needed to improve your communication and regain your relationship satisfaction.