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  • Is Your Sex Life “Aging” Well? 7 Tips for maintaining intimacy as you age.

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    Have you noticed a decrease in your sex life as you’ve gotten older? Maybe the intimacy with your partner has taken a backseat now that you’ve been together a long time or you just haven’t prioritized it like you once have.

    Sex does not need to stop when you get older. Many people assume that it does, or that desire eventually fades, but that could not be further from the truth.

    Obviously, there are issues that arise – mobility, menopause, erectile or lubrication issues, and health concerns in general, etc – but these do not need to stop you from being a sexual person, if that is what you want or how you connect with your partner.

    Sex while aging can be satisfying and joyful as long as you are willing to learn and adapt. You don’t need to limit yourself sexually as long as you you continue to explore the possibilities and recognize what needs to change.

    If you find yourself wishing that your intimacy was more of a priority or more satisfying continue reading. 

    7 tips on how to regain your mojo and enjoy sex in an aging body

    1) Schedule sex: this is helpful for everyone. 

    The anticipation of having sex will help your body respond more readily when the time comes and will help you overcome any mental block that you may have regarding the idea. 

    Scheduling sex also allows you to make sure that you make sex a priority. Sometimes work or family may take up all of your time and before you know it you’ve noticed that it’s been weeks, months, maybe even years since you’ve had sex with your partner. Scheduling sex will make sure that doesn’t happen again. 


    2) Don’t focus on an orgasm: orgasm is not the goal! It’s a fun bonus, but the true goal is connecting and feeling close to your partner(s).

    It’s ok to not orgasm every time you have sex. What’s important is that you are finding ways to explore one another, prioritizing one another’s needs, and are finding ways to connect on a deeper level.


    3) Have sex during the time of day that you are more aroused and responsive. Do you come home from work and find yourself exhausted? Maybe the last thing you want to do is be touched! If you feel this way you aren’t alone!

    Find ways to get intimate earlier in the day or set aside time on a day when you aren’t working to prioritize intimacy.

    If you find first thing in the morning isn’t your favorite, find time in the day or evening that you feel most comfortable and initiate the first move.


    4) Use sex toys: Do you find yourself bored with your sex life? Have you found yourself repeating the same sex positions or find yourself always having sex in the same place? It may be time to explore spicing things up a bit with some sex toys. 

    Try something new and visit your local sex store to see what options they have. If you are afraid of trying something out of your comfort zone, start small. There are hundreds of options to choose from that can make a major difference in your sex life.

    If any erectile disappointments occur, that does not mean that sex has to stop. Having toys on hand that can be used for mutual enjoyment is important so that you can still connect with your partner in a sexual, yet different way.


    5) Normalize body changes: you may worry that your partner is no longer as attracted to your aging body as they once were. Our bodies are changing constantly, but it is important to recognize that this happens. 

    If you notice additional lubrication is needed or an erection is not firm enough for penetration, it is important to not treat it as a hassle, burden, or sex-ruining. It isn’t! It happens! Use the extra lube or shift attention to another form of physical intimacy.


    6) Exercise before sex and eat after: did you know that exercise before sex increases blood flow to the brain and genitals? Try going for a quick jog before having sex to see if this makes a difference for you.

    Also; eating after sex means that digestive issues will not get in the way of fun. Nothing is worse than eating a big meal and finding yourself having a belly ache directly after. When this happens the last thing you will want to do is have sex with your partner so try avoiding eating any large meals until after you’ve done the deed. After all, sex can help build up an appetite.


    7) Use a condom if not in a monogamous relationship! This is still an important part of sexual health even if the likelihood of getting pregnant has decreased. It’s important to protect yourself and your partner when engaging in sexual activities.


    It’s totally normal to experience a change in your intimacy the older you get. If you’ve noticed this happening in your life you don’t have to let it ruin your sex life.

    Keep in mind that you do not need to use all of these tips in order to see a shift in your sex life. Take the tips that best apply to what you are experiencing and see if it makes a difference.

    If you struggle with your intimacy and have noticed it has taken a toll on your relationship, please contact Solid Foundations Therapy today! Visit our website at www.solidfoundationstherapy.com or give us a call at 630-633-8532 today!