Do you expect your partner to "complete you" and meet all of your needs at any given moment?

If so; you aren't alone!

In this month's Therapy Moment, Irene Schreiner, LMFT shares with us the importance of having proper expectations of your partner so that you can be successful in your relationship.

Plus learn why meeting some of your needs outside of your relationship will actually make it stronger.

Have you or your partner ever felt like you were just going around and around within conflict, and no resolution appeared to be in sight? 

If so; you aren’t alone!

There is a chance that you could be struggling to navigate opposing attachment styles that are stuck in the “negative cycle” of understanding one another. 

As you read that, you may wonder what exactly is “The Negative Cycle”?

Do you find yourself distracted or challenged in your co-parenting efforts?

If so; you aren't alone!

In this month's Therapy Moment, Kevin Saurer, LPC, NCC shares with us the ABC Model of co-parenting to help overcome the struggles many feel!

Have you ever been triggered by your partner? 

Maybe your spouse offered you some advice on how to do something around the house better and more efficiently. You took that as your partner being condescending so it triggered you to get defensive.

If you’ve ever felt this way; you aren’t alone! 

Your partner may not have meant to elicit that kind of a response from you but you can’t help but feel the way you do.

So, how do you work past feeling triggered by the things your partner may say or do?

Are you currently experiencing what many couples do that have been together a while? Possible stagnation, going through the motions, negative interactions, a loss of connection, etc. These things happen over time and tend to build. Today I’m going to teach you a tool that you can use to combat these experiences and strengthen your relationship again. 

Have you ever heard of the term thinking through a negative lens? Has your negative thinking affected your relationship with others or yourself?

Unhelpful (negative) thinking, also known as cognitive distortions, is a thought pattern that is influenced by difficult experiences or triggers. 

Do you notice how on certain days you are able to respond better to stress than others? Certainly it depends on the physical and emotional context under which the stress occurs, but did you know it also has to do with one's tolerance level?

Increasing distress tolerance allows for improved emotional regulation, feeling more in control, and decreased likelihood of emotional outbursts.

As our world becomes more accepting of broader and more diverse identities, you may have questions about how you can better support the LGBTQ+ community, or what LGBTQ+ even stands for.

Every person has their own journey in understanding what it means to support LGBTQ+ people, whether you’re LGBTQ+ or not. We hope this resource can help you begin that journey.

First, let’s define what it means to be an Ally!

Have you found over time that your physical touch with your partner has started to decline? Maybe you've found yourself stuck in the role of mom/dad and you haven't prioritized your partner. Or maybe the daily grind has made it so you aren't investing time back into your relationship to create the need for physical touch with one another.

In this month's Therapy Moment, Robyn Ashbaugh, LMFT shares the "gears of touch" and how it can help improve your intimacy with your partner!

Have you ever found yourself in a public setting, perhaps at school or work, and suddenly you’re overcome with an intense feeling that becomes difficult to control in the moment?

Hard as we may try to remain calm, cool and collected as we go about our everyday lives, our emotions sometimes have other plans, showing up with intense power at the most unexpected times.

Has your partner ever told you that you aren't hearing what they are saying or are invalidating their feelings when experiencing an argument?

Oftentimes, when people are told that they reply with "that wasn't my intent to make you feel that way" when discussing conflict.

The problem with that reply is that it doesn't totally resolve the issue at hand nor the impact it has on the other person.

Everyday there seems to be something in the world happening that is really hard to deal with. Whether it be racial injustices, shootings, war on other countries, politics and so much more, these things are not easy to deal with, let alone talk about, and they all impact us in different ways. As much as it would be easier for us to ignore or pretend like nothing is going on, that’s not the reality we live in. 

Do you struggle with how to empathize with others?

Oftentimes, people listen to a loved one share something troubling going on in their life and their initial reaction is to help them "solve" or "fix" their issue. What's often missed is the importance of empathizing with their difficult emotions first.

Empathy is incredibly important because it allows you to connect with someone important to you on an emotional level.

Do you ever notice your emotions get the best of you when confronted with conflict?

 It’s easy to get lost in your reaction or emotional response to things that sometimes it can be difficult to reflect on what’s truly happening in the present.

Mindfulness can be a useful way to reflect on the present moment.

What comes to mind when you hear the word “grief”?

For most people, the word “grief” likely elicits a number of thoughts and feelings, and it is often associated with the loss of a life. 

And then there is the loss associated with positive things, such as the loss involved when we set healthy boundaries, release an unhealthy coping mechanism, change careers, or move to a new city. This is what I call the grief in the good.  

Have you ever sat there and just thought about both how different you are from your partner, but also about the common ground you share? 

Have you wondered if the differences could break you? 

Do you wonder if your attraction to your partner is because of the similarities or the differences? 

Are you afraid to speak to your loved ones about how difficult the world can feel at times? Maybe you are having troubles processing your feelings regarding current events happening in the world.

Between racism, violence and natural occurrences that effect large numbers of people, it can feel difficult to find the words to express how these major events make you feel.

‌Life can be challenging, with many variables outside of your control. We all have experienced stress from one time or another based on the many different spinning hats we each wear that stem from our careers, families, hobbies, care-giving, parenting, etc that the stress of them all can often take a toll on us. 

But did you know, when we experience difficult times and are more forgiving to ourselves, these difficult emotions have less of an effect on our overall emotional well-being?