Are You Having Trouble Navigating Life After A Divorce or Breakup?
Has a difficult divorce or breakup fractured your family or shaken your sense of security? Do you worry about the effect that it could have on your children’s well-being? Perhaps you were the one who dissolved your relationship, but you still struggle to overcome feelings of guilt, grief, and loneliness. Maybe you saw the end of your relationship coming or you were blindsided by your partner’s choice to end things and are left feeling lost and alone. Or it could be that you can’t stop ruminating on what went wrong and instead, blame yourself for “not being good enough.”
Life after divorce or a complicated breakup can seem like an endless fight to reclaim yourself. If you and your partner had mutual friends, you probably don’t know who you can turn to. And you’re likely worried that the friends and family you can rely on may be growing weary from offering support.
You feel like you can’t break down or appear vulnerable. Instead you bottle up the pain and loneliness you are feeling. Unfortunately, when we are stressed, taking care of our own mental and physical well-being is often the last thing on our list.
Fortunately, with the help of a compassionate and experienced therapist, you can learn to manage intense emotions, process your grief, discover new opportunities for happiness and even start dating again when you are ready.
Relationships End for Many Reasons
One of the realities that we don’t always like to acknowledge is that not all relationships last. Finding the right person isn’t as easy as the movies make it out to be, which is why different values and unrealistic expectations for relationships cause so many marriage problems.
In our fast-paced society, we often put the needs of a career or financial security before those of our partners. As a result, intimacy, communication, and connection can all slowly erode, wounding the relationship with a thousand unseen paper cuts. On the other hand, sometimes couples just drift apart naturally as their personalities or desires for the relationship evolve.
However, just because divorce seems common doesn’t mean that you are expected to deal with it easily. To avoid the pain; you may throw yourself into work, exercise, or social activities. But that doesn’t really allow you to fully process emotions or understand the real reasons behind the divorce. Without this knowledge, unhelpful behaviors, negative beliefs about yourself, or even unresolved mental health issues could resurface in future relationships.
At Solid Foundations Therapy, we can help you gain a greater awareness of yourself that will enable you to process your grief, become more resilient, and make healthier relationship decisions moving forward.
Divorce Counseling Can Help You Feel Whole Again
Working with a therapist gives you a chance to focus solely on your grief, loss, and recovery. It provides you with a safe space where you can look at yourself, your relationship, and what went wrong without fear of judgment or blame. Our goal is to offer you unwavering support through this transition while helping you develop practical strategies for tackling day-to-day issues so you can move on with your life in confidence and peace.
During our work together we will set specific goals based on your needs. Some examples of the type of work you may be doing are: Going over the history of your relationship in order to help you understand some of the reasons it fell apart. This way we can help you find ways of improving your chances of success in the future. We’ll explore what kind of person you want to be in your next relationship and what kind of expectations you might have for your future partner. We’ll provide you concrete tools for dealing with the whirlwind of anger, grief, sadness, and fear you likely find yourself in, so you can stop feeling stuck and start moving forward.
Many people who go through a divorce or break up find that their misery often outlasts their support network, which is why therapy can be such a valuable resource. Our purpose is to walk with you through the grief and recovery process no matter how long it takes, helping you to move past obstacles and powerful emotions that may be keeping you stuck.
We use a solution-focused approach to divorce counseling that can teach you how to find happiness and acceptance for who you are and your new reality. Pulling from the Gottman Method, we will offer you education that will enable you to better understand the dynamics of what happened in your marriage or relationship. We also use emotionally focused individual therapy to help you develop a better understanding of how your past may be creating challenges to your relationships in the present. We’ll work with you to make the potentially scary aspect of dating again more manageable.
Ending a marriage or a committed relationship can be a rough experience for anyone. And although it may feel as though you will never love again, you can find happiness once more. Learning to love yourself, dating after divorce, and embracing the opportunities that your new life presents may be a slow process at first. But with a little work and faith in yourself, you can restore your sense of wholeness and enjoy a fulfilling life beyond divorce. When you are ready to start dating again, you will find yourself equipped with the awareness and skills needed to have a happy, healthy, and enduring relationship.
Breakup / Divorce Recovery Will Allow You To…
- Fully grieve the loss of your partner and the relationship.
- Feel fully supported during this difficult time.
- Find yourself again.
- Identify your role within the relationship not working out so you don’t make the same mistakes next time.
- Figure out what does and doesn’t work for you in relationships to better equip you for your next relationship.
- Prepare to start dating again.
Perhaps You are Considering Breakup or Divorce Recovery But Still Have Some Concerns…
I’m afraid that I will find out that this is all my fault.
Relationships end for many reasons and very rarely is it because of one person’s actions. So, there is no judgment here. In truth there are likely things that you could have done differently just like there were things your partner could have done differently. It takes two people to make a relationship work and it takes two for it to fall apart. We will help you take an honest but balanced look at your relationship so that you can own your part but also understand the full picture of what went wrong.
Why can’t I just get through this on my own?
Divorces and breakups may be common, but they represent massive and traumatic losses. The first thing you need to acknowledge is that this transition is extremely challenging, and you needing additional support doesn’t make you weak. Let us help you ease some of the burden so that you can work on yourself and heal quicker.
I don’t know if I have the time for divorce recovery.
We understand that there’s a lot going on right now but tending to your mental and emotional well-being offers tremendous benefits. By putting it off or bottling up your feelings, you run the risk of having it boil over in the form of irritability, sleepless nights, difficulty concentrating, days spent crying or lashing out at those you love. This is the time when you need support the most. You owe it to yourself, your loved ones, and even your future relationship to work on you.