Do You Worry About The Health Of Your Relationship?
Are you in a relationship or marriage that seems cold and distant—as if you are simply going through the motions without any real emotional connection? Is it a struggle to have serious conversations without them spiraling into arguments or toxic criticism? Do you feel unappreciated, unacknowledged, or undervalued for the effort you put into making the marriage work? Are you feeling disconnected and lonely?
Relationships naturally change—just as the people who are in them. Sometimes, life merely gets in the way. Dealing with finances, caring for a family, and pursuing a career can stagnate even the healthiest of marriages. Similarly, problems communicating, meeting each other’s needs, and connecting on an intimate level can all create a distance that subtly grows over time. And when you lump in the stresses of navigating compatibility issues, dealing with in-laws, and meeting family obligations, it can seem like settling for “good enough” is…well, good enough.
However, many couples run into obstacles and hardships along the way—and it doesn’t mean that there is something broken with either partner; most of the times, it just means that you, like many people, don’t have the skills necessary to handle these challenges.
Fortunately, at Solid Foundations Therapy, we specialize in helping couples repair and reclaim their marriage from the daily, (and sometimes not-so-daily) distractions of life. With a little work, you and your partner can learn how to communicate effectively, reconnect as lovers, and celebrate each other’s differences in a way that brings greater authenticity, peace, and happiness to your relationship.
Plenty Of Couples Struggle With Relationship Problems
Many couples have an idealized preconception of what marriage should look like. The movies, tv shows, and books that we are regularly exposed to have falsely taught us that love is all we need—that true love means that relationships are easy and only couples who don’t belong together have challenges. However, nothing could be further from the truth.
As human beings, we are wonderfully (and sometimes problematically) unique, so bringing together two people naturally requires more than just love. Relationships, marriages in particular, require a great deal of compromise, empathy, open communication, and even conflict.
Unfortunately, most of us were not born with the innate ability to overcome these unique challenges. As a result, when we are faced with obstacles, we often get hurt, angry, and resentful. This leads us to lash out or shut down when all we want is to feel loved and validated by our partner. Before we know it, the special spark between you has started to fade. Moreover, when you throw in big life transitions, such as having a child, losing a job, retiring, or dealing with an empty nest, relationship issues can quickly escalate.
However, experiencing marriage problems does not mean that you are not meant for one another. It simply means that you could benefit from a greater understanding of what you each need in order to be happy. Fortunately, our highly-trained couples therapists can equip you with the practical skills, awareness, and mutual compassion needed to repair and enhance your relationship.
Why Our Approach To Couples Therapy Is So Effective
We understand that sharing problems with a therapist can be scary, so we like to keep things light and fun when possible. Although we occasionally have to be direct, we also believe that humor can provide relief while addressing the difficult topics that we tackle in therapy.
In a neutral space of unconditional positive regard for both you and your partner, you will begin your initial session by sharing some history about your relationship with your therapist. Examples of common questions that you can expect are: What are some of your problem areas? How long has the problem been going on for? What have you tried to do to fix things? What are your goals and expectations for therapy? Once you have identified your goals, your therapist will create an action plan that they will walk you through from week to week to help you reach those goals.
At Solid Foundations Therapy, we emphasize the effectiveness of our skill-based, evidence-driven and practical approach to helping couples heal. We use a combination of powerful treatment methods, including but not limited to the Gottman Method, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT).
We will devote each week to teaching you a new strategy or tool for tackling specific issues, resolving conflicts, improving intimacy, and repairing your connection. Depending on your situation and goals, we may focus on teaching you how to resolve conflicts peacefully or communicate in a way that allows each of you to be heard and acknowledged. Some sessions could be devoted to building greater empathy, intimacy, and emotional connection. Other times, we may focus on showing you how to share your passions, embrace each other’s differences, and strengthen your friendship.
No matter how discouraged or alone you may feel, we believe that positive change is absolutely possible. Working as a team alongside your therapist, you and your partner can awaken your emotional connection, enjoy greater peace at home, and learn to have each other’s back. In time, you can learn to love one another as unique individuals and value each other’s needs and desires as equals.
Have any of the following reasons prevented you from seeking couples therapy in the past?
I feel like this situation will resolve itself without the help of a couples therapist.
Many couples feel the same way, thinking that things will simply take care of themselves if given enough time. Unfortunately, that’s exactly why so many couples wait until their relationship is in crisis to do something about it. Just like any other injury, ignoring the problem only creates an opportunity for it to grow. By engaging in therapy now, you get to walk away with valuable tools and awareness that can protect your relationship in the present as well as into the future.
Does couples counseling really work?
While we never promise a quick fix, our practical, research-based approach to healing can significantly improve your relationship. Moreover, many of our clients truly appreciate that we are not an overly touchy-feely practice that simply talks about emotions. Rather, we believe in providing clients with practical and proven strategies for overcoming even the biggest challenges. With a little time and effort, you can enjoy a partnership that is mutually beneficial and fulfilling.
We don’t have time for marriage counseling.
One of the most common issues for both individuals and couples in our society is finding (making) the time for self-care. Careers, kids, daily responsibilities, and finances are not just affecting your own well-being—they are also impacting the relationship’s health as well. The truth is, marriages require regular maintenance. Making the time to heal old wounds, head off future problems, and strengthen the positive aspects of your marriage now can pay off years into the future.