No matter who you love, relationships come with challenges.
Even the best relationships hit roadblocks and feel tough at times. As a member of the LGBTQ+ community you deal with added layers of stress in your relationship. While there have been improvements made and progressive family values are more accepted, the oppression and discrimination that you may still face from the media, community and even those closest to you can have an impact on your relationship. You have to contend with worry about your relationship being accepted. With when and how you can show affection. You may have tension around societies forced gender roles and if they fit within your same-sex relationship or not.
On top of that, you have to deal with the typical everyday issues that come with being in a romantic relationship. Busy schedules may be getting in the way of connecting and having fun together. Sex isn’t as exciting as it used to be or may not be happening as often as you would like. You are arguing more than you want to be or having a hard time agreeing on varying topics.
It can feel complicated, overwhelming and at times tempting to give up. The truth is many couples run into a variety of obstacles. It doesn’t mean that you are wrong for each other or that either of you are the bad guy. The truth is that you, like many people, were probably not taught the skills necessary to handle the unique challenges that come up in a long term romantic relationship. The fact is, all couples in any gender configuration hit obstacles. Some feel easy to overcome, while with others we need a little outside help to get through successfully. That’s where our LGTBQ+ affirming therapists come in. We will work with you and your partner to develop the tools to get you both through the more difficult times.
There is something special about being in a same-sex relationship. There is an extra level of understanding that comes with it, even if you and your partner have had different experiences. You both know how it is to be considered ‘other’ and to fear how others will treat you. That understanding can make it even more upsetting when there is a communication breakdown or a betrayal.
Working with one of our LGBTQ+ affirming therapists can help with many of these issues. The therapists at Solid Foundations Therapy are trained in working with the LGBTQ+ community and specialize in working with couples. We are well versed in working on ways to improve communication, emotional connection, sexual intimacy and helping couples learn the skills needed to tackle any obstacles that come your way.
LGTBQ+ Couples Therapy Can Help You..
- Learn to communicate effectively
- Become more comfortable with your sexuality
- Regain your sexual connection
- Establish boundaries with extended family
- Navigate the coming out process
- Learn to be your authentic self as an individual and in your relationship
- Establish expectations around monogamy and repair any breaches
- Manage stress around adoption or parenting in a same sex household
- Support each other in navigating negative societal conditions that do not properly recognize the LGTBQ+ relationship and family.
- Establish boundaries around ex-lovers and friends of the same sex
Why Our Approach is Effective
We recognize the difficulties that arise in any relationship and are aware of the fact that many people are not taught the skills needed to maintain a healthy relationship. We are focused on providing an action-orientated plan to provide you with those skills, help heal any past damages and allow the relationship to thrive.
We know that confiding in a therapist can be scary! To make things more comfortable; we do our utmost to provide unconditional positive regard to both partners, be direct but warm so you always know what to expect and also try to keep things light and fun – where appropriate.
We are firm believers of evidence-based and practical methods of therapy. We use a combination of treatment methods, including but not limited to the Gottman’s Couple Therapy, Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT), and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help you reach the goals that brought you to therapy.
Not only are our therapists trained specifically to help with relationships, but we are all inclusive and affirming allies of the LGBTQ+ community. Providing safety and comfort is one of our top
priorities, as well as understanding how our clients’ intersectional identities impact their relationship. Our therapists work hard to remain conscious of the unique issues that brought you to therapy while also being mindful of the extenuating factors that may lead to shame, misunderstanding or resentment for each individual.
What you can expect from Therapy
Our initial session with you and your partner will typically look like this: the therapist will ask questions about your history and what brought you to therapy, establish goals to work on, and answer any questions you may have. Some questions that you can expect may be: How do you self identify? What are some of the problem areas that bring you to therapy? How long has it been going on? What have you done to try and fix the issue? Do the important people in your life know about your relationship?
The therapist will use the historical information you provided and your stated goals to develop an action-orientated plan that will serve as a roadmap that will guide the future of your therapy. From there weekly sessions will be aimed at teaching you a new tool or strategy to deal with the specific issues that brought you to therapy.
No matter how discouraged you may feel or how huge you may believe the problem to be, we are prepared to help you and provide the hope that positive change can absolutely be made. Working with your therapist, you and your partner can feel more connected, have a better understanding of each other, and learn how to support one another.
Many people wait too long before seeking out couples’ therapy. They ignore the vague, sometimes small feelings that something is not right or how they would prefer it to be, and only seek therapy in a time of crisis. Don’t let that be you! Therapy is a commitment, one that you are making for yourself and for your relationship.
Start seeing the positive change today
If you are ready to start improving your relationship with an experienced couples counselor, we invite you to call 630-633-8532 or email us today.