Are You Looking For A Deeper Connection With Your Partner?
Is your relationship stagnating or not meeting your expectations for what love or marriage is supposed to look like? Do you have a difficult time advocating for yourself or being heard by your partner? Perhaps you or your partner are quick to get angry, critical, or defensive but you don’t know why it’s happening—or how to stop it. If so, maybe you are looking for a way to gain skills that can help you communicate better and strengthen your connection with your partner.
Conversely, it could be that you have repeatedly asked your partner to work as a couple with a therapist only to meet resistance every time. If this is the case, you may feel stuck, powerless, or exhausted from being the only one who is trying to improve or preserve your relationship. Every couple has their share of ups and downs, but when it feels like your partner refuses to put effort into the relationship or won’t participate in counseling, change can seem impossible. It can feel like you are alone in the world, living with someone who resembles a business associate more than a companion.
Maybe the ever-present tension and friction in the house make you question your self-worth and your ability to love—and be loved. You may even wonder if your relationship is worth saving anymore. After a while, it may start to seem as if the only thing you can do is hope your situation will magically get better on its own because nothing you’ve tried seems to work.
Many people who are struggling to overcome challenges in their relationship feel the same way as you. But with the help of a compassionate and impartial relationship therapist, you can take concrete steps on your own to improve your relationship—not just with your partner—but with yourself as well.
Conflict Is A Natural Part Of Relationships
It’s normal for couples to run into obstacles in their relationships. Finances, family stress, domestic responsibilities, intimacy issues, and career demands are enough to create discord for the happiest of couples. But as individuals, we also tend to put an immense amount of pressure on our partners to fulfill far too many roles in our lives. We expect them to be our best friend, lover, workout partner, emotional support system, and babysitter. This creates a tremendous amount of stress in a relationship, even if you have the understanding and awareness to manage it successfully.
Unfortunately, most of us simply were not born with the skills needed to navigate the natural stressors that couples run into. And very few of us were ever taught how to have a healthy relationship. We were never shown how to communicate effectively, resolve conflict peacefully, or recognize when aren’t being the person we really want to be. Despite our best intentions, it can be incredibly easy to slip into old behaviors or coping mechanisms that do more harm than good.
For some people, couples therapy or marriage counseling can do wonders. However, occasionally, a partner will refuse to participate. They may be skeptical, afraid, or reticent about talking to a stranger, but that doesn’t mean that you are out of options. Working with a relationship counselor can offer you support, a safe place to explore what you want to do about your relationship, provide you with valuable insight into ways you can create change, and teach you how to advocate for yourself while still being emotionally available for your partner.
How Can Individual Relationship Counseling Help You and Your Relationship?
Working with a therapist gives you the opportunity to really take a look at yourself and ask some fundamental questions that you may not have considered before: Who are you outside of the relationship? What are your core needs? What are your expectations for love, and how do you go about achieving that? What am I doing to contribute to the problem? Do I want to remain in this relationship? By addressing these questions and many others, you can create positive changes in the way you act and feel that can resonate throughout your relationship.
When you work with one of our therapists at Solid Foundations Therapy, you’ll find that we are kind, compassionate, and lighthearted. We offer a safe, nonjudgmental space in which you can talk about your concerns for the relationship as well as your goals and expectations for counseling. We’ll discuss some of the behavioral patterns or hot-button issues that may be causing your frustration while developing new ways of responding to distress. We’ll also work to clarify your role in the relationship, develop ways to improve your self-care, and build upon areas of your relationship that are the most fulfilling. And we can talk about defining healthy relationship boundaries so that you can draw a line between your needs and those of your partner.
At Solid Foundations Therapy, we take a solution-oriented approach to create a holistic treatment strategy that speaks to your goals. We use highly effective, research-driven therapeutic models, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Emotionally Focused Therapy, and the Gottman Method. Our therapists can help you realize a stronger version of yourself by challenging and transforming negative self-beliefs learned in the past into something that can empower you in the present.
We don’t simply talk about problems. In each of our sessions, you will be given a tangible, concrete tool or skill that you can use outside of the office to begin working on your relationship immediately. We can show you how to improve communication skills, resolve conflict, and self-soothe so that you don’t have to feel like you are constantly walking on eggshells. And, if it turns out that you are looking for a way out of an unhappy marriage or relationship, we can help you make a transition that is safe and amicable for both parties.
Although it may feel as though you have little control of your relationship right now, there is hope. Even the smallest changes can have the greatest impact. With a little work and faith in your own ability to make progress, you can enjoy a more fulfilling relationship that speaks to who you are and what makes you truly happy.
Are You Considering Individual Relationship Counseling But Still Have A few Questions…
Can I really get results if my partner is not there?
To some extent, individual relationship therapy is really about you. Since you are the only person in the room you will be making the majority of the overt changes. However, your relationship is a system and when one part of the system changes for the better it can have an amazing impact on the rest of the system. Addressing challenges in your relationship—even if your partner is unwilling to participate—can empower you to create profound change on your own.
Will my therapist try to end my relationship?
Our goal as therapists is to help you meet your needs, whatever they may be. We will not lead you to conclusions or ask you to make decisions about your relationship that don’t align with your goals. However, if your goal is to explore ending your marriage we will allow you to do that in a judgment free space. Our purpose is to get you to where you feel most content in your relationship and your life.
I don’t think it’s fair that I have to do all the work.
You are absolutely right to feel that way, but don’t count your partner out completely. Sometimes, when one partner begins to see changes in the other, it can inspire them to give therapy a try after all—in which case we also offer couples counseling services. Rest assured, though, you can make incredible changes on your own. With the skills, confidence, and knowledge you can gain through therapy, you’ll be equipped to handle current challenges as well as any other issues that might arise in the future.
Let Us Help You Find A Solution For Your Relationship Issues
If you would like to see how individual relationship counseling can help you, please call 630-633-8532 or email us to schedule your first session. We look forward to helping you find greater love and happiness.