Have you ever felt disconnected from your partner? 

Maybe your partner has been working a lot more than usual or maybe you’ve found yourself drowning in laundry, caring for the children, keeping the house in order, etc that your relationship has taken an unintentional backseat.

Sometimes, a disconnect can be felt for simply getting up on the wrong side of the bed, an argument that occurred, or a difference in opinion. 

If you can relate to any of this; you are not alone!

Feeling disconnected, or like our partner is far away even if they are sitting right next to us, can be a very isolating feeling. Sometimes, it is difficult to know how we can come back together with our partner, and it can feel a little awkward to even address it!

You may fear saying the wrong thing which can offend or upset your partner. You also don’t want to keep feeling like the relationship is growing apart. Recognizing this feeling of disconnect is important for the health of your relationship.

While most of the time in therapy we focus on feeling emotionally connected and really understanding your partner, feeling physically connected cannot be discounted. 

Being there for your partner physically is HUGE for the relationship. Feeling more physically connected can be a bridge to improving that emotional connection as well, and a lot of times, the physicality in a relationship can be a lot less daunting than the emotional. 

So, you may wonder how do you get back to feeling more connected with your partner, especially with how busy everyone’s lives tend to be?

Below are 4 easy, quick things that you can do with your partner to feel more connected and bridge the distance between you:

1. Take five deep breaths in time with one another.
   •  This may take a little bit of coordinating with one another, but breathing in time with one another can make you feel connected on a very basic level. Not only does this both help you to be more in sync with one another but it allows you both to not be distracted by anything else aside from each other.
2. Stare into one another’s eyes for one minute (or five if you like a challenge and a laugh!).
   • Eye gaze exercises have been shown to increase intimacy, even amongst strangers! (I will never forget doing this in a neuroscience class and still feeling very connected to my classmate to this day.) Inevitably, it will feel silly and awkward, and I encourage leaning into it! Laugh, make jokes, but also try to notice things about your partner’s eyes that you haven’t noticed before.
   • I also recommend choosing one eye or alternating, as trying to stare into both at once is impossible.
3. Embrace for at least 30 seconds with one another.
   • This can be combined with deep breathing, but a good, tight hug will help you feel connected with one another as well. This means both arms wrapped around them, with your head on their shoulder or against their chest so you can hear their heartbeat. Taking the time to slow down with one another can help remind you that they are physically there and reduce the feeling of distance.
4. Hold each other’s hand!
   • At a certain point in a relationship, holding hands loses importance for some reason, and it is one of the simplest things you can do to feel closer to your partner. This also can be combined with any of the above.

Doing a combination of the above, in any order, can easily help improve your connection with one another and it doesn’t take a whole lot of time or energy to do. 

Keep in mind that relationships go through ebbs and flows and that it takes work to keep your relationship consistently healthy. Just because your relationship feels a bit disconnected right now doesn’t mean that you can’t get things back on track to what they once felt like. Using these 4 easy exercises with one another can make a big difference and are just a starting point toward feeling physically and emotionally in sync once again.

If you are having trouble feeling connected with your partner, you do not have to go at it alone. Solid Foundations Therapy is here to help you reconnect with your partner again and rediscover the spark you both once had. Visit our website at www.solidfoundationstherapy.com or give us a call at 630-633-8532 today!